Every musical has a song you can skip

As I creep to end of my 3^rd day in isolation, I had to ask myself, how many times can one person watch Mamma Mia before they need to seek medical attention?

I love musicals. Like love. Sometimes I shed a tear each day knowing that my life will never be a musical. I shed a second tear each day knowing that my singing is not good enough to be in a musical. So, I watch them. (My favourite, along with David Stratton’s, is of course Singin’ In The Rain.)

My sisters and I watched Grease on VHS so much that the tape wore out. Why did my parents let us watch Grease so much? They were probably hoping we’d all grow up to be hot bitches that completely change our personalities for men. Sorry Ma and Pa, but this hot bitch can only give you 50% of what you wanted.

God, I ramble on so much at the start here I feel like I’m about to write out a recipe. ANYWAYS, it has come to my attention that every musical (movie musicals) has a song that it is acceptable to fast forward through! And here are 10 examples:

Mamma Mia

Starting with the big one. This is terribly hard buuuut I have to say, I could do without “The Winner Takes It All”. By the end of it I feel like Sophie waiting at the bloody church for Meryl to hurry up.

The Sound of Music

That one where it’s all in shadows and they talk about when she sat on the pinecone. “Must Have Been Something Good” or something like that. Boring.

Les Misérables

Oh please, I could do without about half of that movie.

Grease

When I was a kid I would always fast forward through “There Are Worse Things I Could Do” and “Hopelessly Devoted To You”. But now I love them. The song to skip through now is “Sandy”. No sympathy for you, you handsy creep.

Mary Poppins

This movie has almost a perfect sweep but buried in there is a 1 minute 45 second song that I could do without about going to sleep. Honestly, I don’t bother skipping it because trying to skip things on streaming services these days is a disaster. I’ve never succeeded in it. Oh well, it’s a short song. Maybe take a loo break.

The Lion King

Huge call but it’s gotta be “Can You Feel The Love Tonight”. Let’s face it, it’s boring and I shouldn’t have to question myself or why they made Nala so hot when she gives Simba sexy eyes. It’s gotta be this song cause it sure as shit ain’t “Be Prepared”.

Annie

I’ve only seen the 1982 version so I can’t speak for the other movies. But for this version there’s two songs I’m not fussed with. “Easy Street” and “We Got Annie”. The dancing in “We Got Annie” is more entertaining but the song itself is still a snooze fest.

Beauty And The Beast

Now, this caused a huge fight between me and a friend from school. There is a song called “Human Again” that was cut from the OG VHS release but then re-added. In Maths class my friend and I were listening to his Ipod, “Human Again” came on and I was like, what the hell is this? Fan fiction songs? If you have the version with this song, skip it. Every time.

Rent

I think we can all agree the first half or Rent is pure magic… then the second half is a bit more gloomy. The song to skip here is “Goodbye Love”.

Chicago

“Mister Cellophane”. I know. I KNOW! I’m sorry but that’s just how I feel. I can’t quite take John C. Reilly seriously after seeing him in movies like Talladega Knights. He seriously has range.

If you disagree, or you have a musical you’d like to know which song is acceptable to skip through. Drop me a line, either here or on the socials and I’d be happy to help you out.