Streaming Services Ranked Worst to Best

If you’re planning on starting your own streaming service, I suggest avoiding the word “plus”. I think the market is a bit saturated there.

12. 7plus

Absolutely useless. Never have I ever… looked at 7plus. Drink if you have. And then please tell the group why on earth you watch 7plus.

11. Nine Now

Just as useless as 7plus but it has Love Island… which I sometimes like to dabble in when I want to feel my braincells running off into the distance.

10. Foxtel Now

It’s just Binge for people who like to burn money and be locked out of half the good stuff.

9. Apple TV+

Apple TV+ has shit all, is kinda hard to navigate, makes me sign in with my Apple ID which I always forget the password and have to change every log in, AND makes me sit through ALL THE CREDITS before it lets me go on to the next ep. Is that just mine? Is mine broken? However, it does have Ted Lasso which is a masterpiece, and I am essentially paying $7.99 a month just to watch Ted Lasso.

8. 10 Play

I watch 10 Play every week. Why? 3 words. The Masked Singer. Haha joking. 5 words actually. Have You Been Paying Attention?

7. Amazon Prime

I forget Amazon Prime is an option most of the time. But there is some good stuff on there. Also, I hate that it shows you things that you have to pay extra for… like, go away. I’m already paying you. Well not me, but someone in my family is and I’m using their account.

6. ABC iview

I’m not much of a live tv watcher so I love getting on ABC iview to catch up on shows like Hard Quiz. Before anyone asks, no they never contacted me again after saying I had made it through. I don’t want to talk about it.

5. Disney+

Don’t even get me started on having to pay $30 more for a new movie. And trying to sell it as “you don’t even have to leave your house”. Mate, sometimes I go to the movies just so I can leave my house. I’m not paying MORE than the cost of a movie ticket to stay home. Also, it’s very lucky it added all the Star stuff because before that it was a bit useless. There’s only so many times you can watch Monsters Inc.

4. Binge

I think the fact that I signed up for the two-week trial and have never cancelled it because I’m still making my way through content is a good sign for ol Binge.

3. SBS On Demand

I am thinking of starting a petition to get them to swap around their “restart” and “resume” buttons. I have accidentally restarted shows too many times, and I shed a tear as I have to fast forward through trying to find my place again. I tell you what, this digital fast-forwarding nonsense got nothing on the VHS where you could pause exactly where you wanted to. Anyway, apart from that SBS On Demand has a banging selection! Something for everyone.

2. Netflix

NETFLIX IN AT #2?! I know right, wild. But I stand by it. Netflix is the father of streaming. From humble beginnings of sending out physical copies to now being the big dog. They truly walked so the rest of these bludgers could run. And I have the audacity to put them in at number 2… that’s show biz baby.

1. Stan

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie and etc. Stan has the best range of tv and movies. My Roku remote thing has a special button for Netflix and a special button for Foxtel and I curse the gods every day that it doesn’t have one for Stan. Instead, I must click through all the options like a peasant every time I want to watch Parks and Recreation. Umm also, Mr Stanley, if you’re reading this, I have a few ideas for tv shows. Ples hit me up xx


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