Shaving Your Legs

1 blunt razor out of 10

I’ve started writing this having just come out of the shower with two half-shaven legs. Shaving is the absolute bane of my existence. I often find myself in the situation of my leg hairs getting too out of control for my liking and really not wanting to shave. It’s quite the predicament, which is why I compromise for the old do the bottom half tonight and the top half tomorrow night.

Once I was watching a movie with a guy (this was before Netflix and chill) and just like in ‘Bridesmaids’ he put his hand on my knee and immediately took it off again and said “oh prickly”. Needless to say I quickly made an excuse and went home. You don’t need someone like that in your life.

I was talking about this with a girl from work the other day and she said “oh yeah shaving legs is the worst! I just give them a quick go over each night.” !. !. !.

Each night! Mate! You’re on a whole other level of woman if you could be bothered giving your legs hairs the quick one two one two every night. But keep it up. Don’t ever let anyone stop you because once you miss one night, you’ll start missing every night.

If you’re one of those girls that doesn’t have a single hair on their legs and says “oh I haven’t shaved in ages!” then I’m sorry but you’re either a dirty liar or someone sneaks in at night and shaves them for you.

I must admit though I have it a lot better off than some people. Luckily I got the light hair gene from my dad so people only notice I’ve skipped the last fortnight’s shavings if they’re sitting next to me. Or it’s cold and my mini hairs are sticking straight out trying their hardest to keep my legs warm. Thanks for being somewhat useful little guys.

Your legs are like half your body!! And on top of having to de-hair 50% of yourself, you have to maneuver around ankles, kneecaps and shinbones! But without forgetting to get the right direction of the stroke so not to leave any patches while all the while making sure too much blood isn’t rushing to your head causing a blackout in the shower. And knowing you’ll just have to do it all again in about 3 days time is why this little affair gets 1 blunt razor out of 10.

Oh and don’t forget to always use a sharp razor so not to get ingrown! But hey, that’s just my opinion.